NFL Lockout

NFL Lockout Day #25: You Can Now Create Fake Facebook Girlfriends

We interrupt the first annual Houston Brickfest and the Mike Vrabel burglary case, to bring you the latest troubling story during the NFL Lockout.

After the brief appearance of, it appeared America escaped from the clutches of an online contraption that promotes creepiness.

Not so fast.

A new online menace has arrived to men everywhere via

Cloud Girlfriend allows men to earn some cool points on Facebook by creating the presence of a girlfriend.

That’s right. Just by following simple steps laid out by the new site, you can go from “single” to “in a relationship” on Facebook by actually being linked to a real woman who is not actually your girlfriend.

Cloud Girlfriend’s concept sets up users to build their new flame through four easy steps:

  1. Defining your perfect girlfriend.
  2. She is then brought “into existence” by the site.
  3. Publicly interact with her on social media.
  4. Continuing a public long distance relationship with your new girl.

The true kicker to this idea is that an actual woman will be helping to call the shots for you by posting messages. Thus, offering the appearance that her boo is a cool and happening dude.

So, let me get this straight. This website is allowing men to do the following:

  • Lie
  • Try to impress people on social media by fabricating a long-distance relationship.
  • Make a feeble attempt at building self-esteem.

It would appear this creation aims to create a network of men who are dishonest and petty enough to create a relationship that doesn’t exist.

Perhaps we should give anyone who signs up for this the Roddy McDowell treatment by strapping them into a chair and making them watch The Expendables, Rocky IV, Raging Bull, and the 1990 NFC Championship while Metallica plays in the background.

John Wayne is rolling over in his grave.

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