2012 NFL Season

Meet The Goodells: Miami Dolphins

Reggie…Reggie…Reggie…

MIAMI DOLPHINS:

2011 RECORD – 6-10:  Sleepy. Boring. Irrevelant. Mediocre defense. These are your Dolphins of Miami, kids. It was a bizarro season in Miami with the Dolphins starting 0-7 and then rallying to finish 6-3 in their last nine games. Along the way, Miami fired Tony Sparano and decided to invoke the Million Dollar Man Clause by spending $9 million to buyout the ex-Dolphins head coach. Elsewhere, one of the more notable things seemed to be the development of interim head coach Todd Bowles as a po….oh, he left for Philadelphia. Well, what about Miami’s plain Jane offense? Something good came out of that right? Believe it or not, yes! Reggie Bush posted a career year on the ground by rushing for 1,086 yards. Mysteriously, his play improved once ex-gal pal Kim Kardashian divorced NBA baller Kris Humphries.

LAS VEGAS ODDS TO WIN SUPER BOWL XLVII: 30/1

DON’T TAKE THIS GUY IN YOUR FANTASY DRAFT: DAVID TANNEMOOREGARRARD, Yup. That quarterback situation is going to hound the team for much of the season. The following is likely to happen:

  1. One of the three will suffer an injury.
  2. At least one of the three will be benched due to ineffective play.
  3. All three will be exceptionally average.

Factoring in their offensive line, which gave up the third-most sacks in the NFL last year (52), this could be messy.

Of course, your best option is to stay away from most Dolphins including whichever quarterback rises to the top of the quarterback dilemma.

NOTABLE GAME: October 7 at Cincinnati- It appears Cincinnati may be in the throws of a baseball postseason  run in early October. Yet, the Chad Johnson/Ochocinco/Johnson Bowl will get plenty of press in Cincy.

DOLPHIN YOU SHOULD FOLLOW ON TWITTER: Chad Johnson. Since changing his name back to Johnson and getting married, the loquacious receiver is back in step on Twitter after being kept in check as a New England Patriot.

When he is not answering questions from fans, he posts entertaining pics:

Meanwhile, his tweets will keep you stitches (or so he hopes).

On Dolphins:

On nuances between Miami/NE/Cincy offensive playbooks:

On the proudest moment of his life:

On random NFL drug testing:

At over three million followers, Johnson is the NFL king of Twitter. Plus, he met his wife on there as well.

Welcome to 2012 folks.

WHY THEY CAN’T WIN THE SUPER BOWL:  New head coach Joe Philbin has his hands full while trying to figure out who will start at quarterback. Does he go with Matt Moore, David Garrard, or the rookie Ryan Tannehill? Not an easy call.

Look at it this way. You ever pay for something in all change and feel somewhat embarrassed for doing it? You’d much rather have dollar bills but loose change is the only way to pay.

Miami’s situation is similar. They don’t have a clear-cut starting quarterback, so a competition is the only way to clear up a scrambled picture.

Trading over 1200 yards receiving in Brandon Marshall to Chicago will not be good move in the short term either. Miami’s receiving options aren’t exactly plentiful.

Also, it would be nice if their defense featured more than the pass-rushing stylings of Cameron Wake.

SONG THAT EMBODIES THE 2012 DOLPHINS: THIS USED TO BE MY PLAYGROUND – MADONNA 

This is the same franchise that gave us Dan Marino, Don Shula, the No-Name Defense, Mercury Morris, Larry Csonka, and the alleged greatest team in NFL history, the 1972 Dolphins.

Now?

They don’t have an identity.

While the Wildcat helped them achieve that under Sparano, it was nothing more than a sizable Band-Aid on the franchise’s bruised ego.

Philbin comes from a winning program in Green Bay and it appears Miami needs all the help they can get in their quest to return to the land of the NFL’s living.

Categories: 2012 NFL Season, Miami Dolphins

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