Madden ’13 is out today, which means the productivity of males between 12 and 40 will drastically decrease.

The cover boy is NOT ESPN’s NFL roving smart phone checker Adam Schefter as this photo from his Facebook account might suggest.

The actual cover athlete is Detroit’s Calvin Johnson, who won a competition last spring to grace the front of the popular video game.

In other news, my bucket list of things to do for the rest of my life includes making fake Madden covers.

When I aim for goals, I aim high.