Random Nonsense

New App Shows Dating Is Like The NFL Scouting Combine

LuluApp

Valentine’s Week continues with an app that proves that we’re being watched…a lot. 

A new and disturbing app has arrived to further prove that dating is America’s fifth sport.

Lulu, an app designed for women, rates the male Facebook friends of females based off ratings in an assortment of categories.

This app, known as “Yelp for boys”, turns men into football players and women into coaches, general managers, and other assorted front office brass.

Where college players are judged on agility, speed, strength, and intelligence during February’s NFL Scouting Combine; Lulu allows women to rate men on manners, looks, ambition, and spending ability.

In fact, this app goes as far to allow women to publicly evaluate the sexual performance of men. The ratings and applied hashtags help build a database of information on the respective subject.

That’s right, gents. As you’re sitting at home eating a bowl of Apple Jacks in your pajamas watching NFL Network’s Playbook, your very existence is being judged.

I often joked with friends that men were scouted as if they were athletes and women posed as a metaphorical owner or general manager, looking to sign a free agent or draft pick to a contract.

To take it a step further, most women (much like a team) are armed with their own scouting department (her friends and/or family). After all, when a guy seriously dates a woman, he is also dating her friends and family through osmosis.

Regardless of how you look at it, this app points out a few things:

  1. Don’t let the smooth taste fool you. The ladies are on the prowl too. They may not be upfront with it, but they have their eyes on the prize like dudes. 
  2. Always try to keep your game sharp…even when you’re with someone. If you end up on the free agent market again, this app shows why you have to be ready.

Now, go grab a razor and get a shave. You have an audience to impress.

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