Fantasy Football

Fantasy Smack: 5 Ways To Humiliate League Losers


By Sammy Burch

Fantasy football is the greatest invention since the birth of the NFL. It’s got it all – competition, trash talk, excitement, agony, you name it. But what if there was a way to make fantasy even better? That exhilarating feeling you get when your gamble on a lineup pays off can be multiplied many times over by incorporating some new twists. These tips were designed with the cardinal rule of fantasy football in mind – always humiliate the loser.

Low Score Brings Beer

Having the lowest point total in your fantasy league means certain defeat for the week. But why should that person’s misery end there? Make them pay for putting out such a putrid lineup. The person with the worst point total in your league should bring beer (or pizza, or some sort of refreshment) to next week’s get-together. Those teams bringing up the rear will be sure to make some roster moves quickly. After all, nobody wants to be on the hook for 16 cases of beer.

Victory Toast

There’s nothing like a celebratory drink after a hard-earned win. Therefore, all of the winning teams in your league should have the opportunity to join each other for a toast or a shot – at the loser’s expense, of course – to commemorate their big win. This not only creates camaraderie among the winning owners, but it makes the losers feel stupid and ashamed, which is the whole point. It also creates the potential for someone jumping the gun, only to find themselves on the wrong side of a comeback, resulting in the worst hangover of them all.

League Pick ‘Em

Everyone loves to make parlays and teasers on the real action. But what about your fantasy league? Wouldn’t it be fun if you could pick the winners in your own league each week? Many sites like CBS Sports and Yahoo allow users to predict the results of each week’s games. It’s an added layer of competition that also lends itself to needling your mates. If you think someone is mad about facing a tough opponent, imagine how he’ll feel when the commissioner sets a 75-point spread on the game. Learn more about sports betting terms here if you even want to put some extra money on the line.


No American sports league will touch the concept of relegation, but that doesn’t mean your fantasy league shouldn’t. In European soccer leagues, the last-place teams are demoted to a lower league, creating tremendous battles at the bottom of the standings. Why not bring that ethic to your league? Nobody would ever lose interest halfway through the season again, and you’d always have new blood coming into the league each year. It’s certainly an upgrade over a bunch of teams burning out toward the end of the season.

To the Victor Goes the Spoils

Perhaps relegation is a little too friendly for you. Maybe you’re cutthroat. If so, take a page from Bill Simmons’ fantasy league, in which the winning team gets to kick one other owner out of the league. Sure, the person who gets thrown out will likely hate the winner for life, but we all know fantasy football is more important than life or death anyway. On the plus side, the deposed team comes back to replace the next year’s victim, so think of it as an extended bye week.

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