The Cincinnati Bengals started 0-2 last season but still reached the AFC Championship. However, this feels a little different. The Bengals aren’t the only team half-stepping through the first two games of the new season.

THE NICKEL PACKAGE: FIVE QUICK HITTERS FROM SUNDAY:

1. The Bengals are going as far as Joe Burrow’s calf muscles will take them: When Burrow suffered a non-contact calf injury during training camp, that took him off the field entirely until shortly before Cincy’s season opener against the Browns. Since his return, Burrow has been way off (MIKE BREEN VOICE). His 44.4 QBR ranks 24th among starting quarterbacks. While the Bengals were 0-2 last year and figured it out, this seems different. In fact, Bengals head coach Zac Taylor said following Sunday’s 27-24 loss to the Ravens that he was unsure about Burrow’s availability next Monday night against the Rams in a Super Bowl LVI rematch…and Burrow’s calf may not be fully recovered. Not great. P.S. Lamar Jackson would have been tough to beat on Sunday even Burrow was healthy.
2. Pepperidge Farm Remembers In Motown: Among Sunday’s most entertaining games, the Seattle Seahawks topped the Detroit Lions 37-31 in overtime. The real fun for the Seahawks began in the locker room after the game. During the week, Lions safety Chauncey Gardner Johnson implored Lions fans to embrace the villains and buy blue ski masks. Well, the Seahawks remembered. Seahawks safety Jerrick Reed II found a mask and partied with it during the postgame. Indeed, the villains did don the ski masks in Detroit…just the wrong ones.
3. The NFC South is going to be silly this year: After the Panthers fell to the Saints on Monday night, there are three 2-0 teams in the NFC South. Will the good times last? Not likely. Yet, let me be the first to type that either the Saints, Bucs, or Falcons will host a playoff game come Wild Card weekend…likely against the loser of the NFC East race.
4. The Miami Dolphins are potentially a Super Bowl team….IF, well you know: The Dolphins knocked off the Patriots 24-17 in Foxborough on Sunday night. Tua Tagovailoa Last season, Miami beat Buffalo once last season and lost two more games to them in Buffalo by a combined six points. If Cincinnati’s descent continues, that potentially opens the door for another AFC contender. Enter the Dolphins? They have a great offense with arguably the league’s most explosive wide receiver duo in Jalen Waddle and Tyreek Hill. The defense is still a work in progress but who do you trust in the AFC to slow that offense down? We’ve got a ways to go but they look good…as long as…you know who stays healthy.
5. The Chiefs aren’t alright: Rumored Taylor Swift love interest Travis Kelce made his return on Sunday to the Chiefs passing game and added a touchdown catch but the KC passing game was still stuck in neutral. The Chiefs defeated Jacksonville 17-9 on Sunday afternoon but something seems missing from the Chiefs offense. Patrick Mahomes threw for 305 yards in the victory but the Chiefs are middle of the pack in yards per attempt (17th – 6.6) and yards per completion (16th – 10.6). Yes, this is most of the group that won a Super Bowl last season. That will be a tough feat to duplicate considering no team has repeated as Super Bowl champion since the 2003-04 New England Patriots.

WE’RE WITH YOU, BILL:

Here is the New England Patriots’ season in a simple clip courtesy of Bill Belichick during Sunday night’s loss to the Dolphins:

PRESENTING THE WORST THROW OF THE SEASON:

The curtain is coming down soon on the Justin Fields Era in Chicago. The Bears are 0-2 after a loss to Tampa on Sunday.

Woof.

CALEB WILLIAMS POWER RANKINGS:

1. CARDINALS
2. BEARS
3. BRONCOS
4. BEARS
5. PATRIOTS

OVERREACTIONARY SUPER BOWL CONTENDER POWER RANKINGS: 

1. COWBOYS 
2. 49ERS
3. EAGLES 
4. DOLPHINS
5. CHIEFS

THE 2-0 CLUB:

Cowboys, Eagles, Commanders, Bucs, Saints, Falcons, 49ers, Dolphins

THE 0-2 CLUB:

Panthers, Cardinals, Bears, Vikings, Patriots, Texans, Chargers, Bengals, Broncos

NEXT WEEK’S MAIN EVENT:

Not a great Week 3 slate with a Monday night doubleheader and the NFC heavyweights facing some winnable games. How about the Jets and Patriots? A Jets win puts their season back on track (for a moment). Meanwhile, the Patriots are toast if they drop to 0-3.