Editor’s Note: The New England Patriots castrated Philadelphia 38-20 in front of over 65,000 disgruntled fans, which saw one of the most heinous beatings of the Andy Reid era. Due to a work obligation, we could not put together a live blog. Instead, the best option is going with a delayed version of today’s proceedings. Without further ado, let’s take a look at the humanity and piece together what happened during today’s massacre.
9:40 – This game is easily the most polarizing matchup of the 17-week NFL regular season schedule. My hope throughout the week was for everyone to play well without any points and that the final score was 99-98. I fell woefully short in this hope. By the way, Eagles won the coin toss. Operation Brady will have to wait for a bit.
9:43 – The Vince Young experience enters its second game. Andy Reid and offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg, drunk on Vince Young’s arm, dial up three passes to open up the game. It works as Young hits Riley Cooper for a 58-yard strike to the New England 5 on the third throw.
9:45 – Two LeSean McCoy rushes later and the Eagles grab the game’s first score. Bill Belichick appears to be rather nonplussed about the whole situation. McCoy’s run caps an 84-yard drive. Surely, someone uttered the phrase “New England’s defense stinks” during that drive.
EAGLES 7, PATRIOTS 0
9:49 – Starship New England takes the field for its first offensive drive.
9:50 – BJGE should change his name to BenJarvus Green-Ellis Four Yards. He rarely gets trapped into the backfield for a loss and always seems to scratch out four yards.
9:52 – A third down pass falls incomplete and the Patriots are forced to punt. Also, as a bonus for Eagles fans, someone on the defensive line actually makes contact with Brady that sends him to the ground.
9:55 – Young underthrows Jackson but hits the Cal flyer for a gain of 42 yards into New England territory.
9:58 – While in the red zone, Philadelphia opts to take timeout after reaching New England territory. Sadly, typical Reid. After a few failed plays, the Eagles opted for an Alex Henery field goal. Good on ya for making that one fella. With a two score lead, the Eagles will clearly go to a run-game heavy approach with the NFL’s leading rusher in their backfield.
EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 0
10:04 – Patriots don’t seem to be in a panic. BJGE4 gets an extra bonus yard this time.
10:09 – This New England drive started out from their 20 and the Pats are methodically marching their way down the field as they pass Philadelphia’s 40.
10:10 – One issue for the Birds…12 men on the field penalties. Brady just hurries to the line and calls plays. Eagles have to be better prepared or in Andy speak “we all need to do a better job of putting everyone in right situations.” I’m not sure I can hear that phrase on repeat 24 hours later.
10:15 – Nnamdi Asomugha is in with a bad knee and all…doesn’t seem to matter though. Patriots roll with BJGE for six after an Aaron Hernandez catch sets the table.
EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 7
10:18 – Hearing this 80-yard drive on radio, I had the following text exchange with a staunch Eagles fan, who has grown tired of me being the President of the Tom Brady Fan Club.
Me: What a drive. He’s so tough.
Friend: LOL. Such a damn pretty boy. He’s so tough on his ass!!! Eat it!!!!!
10:21 – The Eagles piece together a rather uninspired three and out to drive to end the first quarter. Rut roh.
END OF FIRST QUARTER: EAGLES 10, PATRIOTS 7
10:24 – New England’s next drive begins with Tom Brady getting freight-trained by Philly defensive tackle Mike Patterson. Good to see the Eagles defensive line hitting a player when it actually matters during a play.
10:26 – New Patriot Tiquan Underwood drops a frozen rope from Tom Brady that would have been a touchdown. He will not be heard from again in any serious capacity after that drop. He’ll be frozen out of the offense. By the way, Underwood was signed as a replacement for the injured Chad Ochocinco, who is out with a hamstring injury (more on this shortly).
10:27 – Oh look! The Eagles felt badly about the Underwood play so on a 3rd and 13; they allow Brady to move out of the pocket to complete a 63-yard pass to Deion Branch down to the Philadelphia 1. One play later BJGE goes in for six. Awful, terrible, and horrifying execution by the Eagles defense.
PATRIOTS 14, EAGLES 10
10:30 – Back to the Ochocinco injury for a moment. After finding out Ochocinco was out with an injury, Warren Sapp sent this doozy of a tweet to the Patriots receiver:
Woah but rather true. Ochocinco has been highly invisible this season.
10:32 – The next play from scrimmage for Philly after the BJGE score is a Vince Young interception to Antwaun Molden. The interception return puts the football in Eagles real estate. This is spiraling out of control quickly. Remember when the Eagles led 10-0? Yep, me neither.
10:36 – A New England drive stalls outside of the red zone. So, the Pats must settle for a Stephen Gostkowski field goal from 39 yards out…or not. Missed it. Eagles dodge a huge bullet…for now.
10:40 – Another Eagles possession. Another three and out.
10:43 – New England slowly entering the “we’re just going to do whatever we want to do on offense if that’s ok with you, Juan Castillo” phase of the game.
10:46 – Brady just sat back in his rocking chair and threw a 41-yard touchdown pass to Wes Welker. The replay of this makes me wonder how prepared the Eagles defense was this week. New England only uses that play action fake seemingly every series. Woof. Can’t throw rocks at a man with a machine gun.
PATRIOTS 21, EAGLES 10
10:50 – Belichick challenges a spot on a Dion Lewis return. Of course, he won it. He’s Bill Belichick.
10:56 – LeSean McCoy regains the NFL rushing lead on this drive. Too bad his head coach doesn’t like using that much in a game where the opponent is arguably football’s best offense.
11:00 – An Eagles drive deep into New England territory when it appears DeSean Jackson turtles up instead of catching a touchdown pass. Twitter did not agree with Jackson’s efforts. He got Jay Cutler’d for this one:
11:01 – Eagles have to settle for a 22-yard field goal because of the Jackson debacle. Of course, the Eagles left 2:11 on the board for Brady to use.
PATRIOTS 21, EAGLES 13
11:05 – Brady is locked in and actually running for a first down since the Eagles put most of their chips into coverage. Does he have the same number of first down runs as McCoy in this half? I think so.
11:10 – Gostkowski gets it right this time by booting a 45-yard field goal.
PATRIOTS 24, EAGLES 13
11:14 – I’ll give you three guesses what the Eagles did on the following drive…it rhymes with three and out. Lord Thomas takes a knee to end the half as Philly’s finest boos the hometown team.
HALFTIME: PATRIOTS 24, EAGLES 13
11:20 – Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News offered this harrowing first half stat:
11:31 – Dan Dierdorf seems to rather amused Tom Brady’s knee brace creating big divots in the field. While Dierdorf worries over this, Brady ushers the Pats into Eagles territory on the opening drive of the third quarter.
11:33 – Feeling somewhat neglected on this drive, Wes Welker gets back into the act by catching a nine-yard touchdown pass from Brady. The massacre continues…
PATRIOTS 31, EAGLES 13
11:34 – Since leading 10-0, the Eagles have been outscored 34-3. Grand.
11:42 – Eagles driving…and driving…and driving. It’s a 4th and 1 from the New England 2. Philly goes for it. The play call is a Vince Young play action pass to Brent Celek, which shoots over his head. Turnover on downs. Goodnight folks.
11:44 – This leads to an “ANDY SUCKS” chant…
11:45 – …and a rather louder “FIRE ANDY” chant. Well, it’s pretty clear. It’s a little late in the game at this point to fire Reid but point well-taken. Their blood pressure goes up further after Brady hits Deion Branch on a 3rd and 9 conversion with New England backed up deep in their own territory. Branch is playing like its Super Bowl XXXIX again. He has six catches for 125 yards. Well, at least that drive ended with a punt.
11:50 – The Eagles get to midfield despite Julian Edelman throwing his weight around like Ed Reed. Young loads up and goes for broke on a bomb to Jackson for six…which falls incomplete. The replay shows it slipped through Jackson’s arms. Jackson has been awful once again today.
11:51 – Edelman flies in on third down and stings Young with a hit to the rib area. Young is slow to get up. How insulting would that be to Young? Getting knocked out by a former Kent State quarterback probably wasn’t high on Young’s things to do list today. Punt!
11:55 – Patriots have the ball and are ready to put the Eagles out of their collective misery as the fourth quarter begins.
END OF THIRD QUARTER: PATRIOTS 31, EAGLES 13
12:06 – New England begins the fourth quarter by methodically moving the ball downfield. A Hernandez reception moves the ball to the Philly 15. On 2nd and 19, Brady goes to Mr. Gronkowski to finish the drive. Brady should never be allowed to face Eagles defensive coordinator Juan Castillo again in anything…chess, checkers, football, backgammon, Connect Four, Life, Monopoly, etc.
PATRIOTS 38, EAGLES 13
12:15 – Well, this is brutal. Penalties, indecision, fans booing…this is a thesis paper on how to get your head coach fired. Yep, this Eagles drive ends with another punt…an awful 18-yarder by Chas Henry. Glorious.
12:18 – Belichick shows the NFL he has a soul by taking Brady out of the game and placing in backup Brian Hoyer. His moment of glory ends quickly with a punt.
12:21 – Well, when Vince Young is throwing deep balls to Chad Hall, you know something has gone terribly wrong in Philadelphia.
12:22 – Ah yes, DeSean Jackson is on the bench. That is heartwarming.
12:26 – Jason Avant ends Philly’s scoring drought by scoring on a short touchdown reception with under a minute left. The Avant catch helps Young set a new personal record for passing yards in a game – 400.
PATRIOTS 38, EAGLES 20
12:28 – Brian Hoyer takes a knee after a failed onside kick…and it’s over. Thank god.
FINAL SCORE: PATRIOTS 38, EAGLES 20
SUMMARY: I’ve watched that nonsense twice and it’s actually worse a second time as I’m sure one would imagine. The biggest indictment of the Eagles is that they appeared to be mismanaged at some level. The Eagles somehow thought getting into a shootout with the Patriots was a good idea. Otherwise, how else does one explain LeSean McCoy’s 14 touches?
Anyhow, this game came down to Brady vs. Juan Castillo. It’s that simple. Young made plenty of mistakes with the football but it all comes back to having a first-year defensive coordinator trying to match wits with one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time.
Castillo was not ready for a game like this and it showed. However, his hire falls on the head of one man – Andy Reid.
Philadelphia wildly mismanaged personnel matters before and after the lockout. Now, it’s all coming to roost.
Sadly, the 4-7 Eagles suffered a fate similar to that of Ric Flair in 2008 at Wrestlemania XXIV; an old challenger got their kicked off by a better opponent. The end is here Eagles fans. New England just provided the final nail in the 2011 coffin and perhaps, the final one for the Andy Reid regime.