HBO actually produced a roughly hour-long episode of Hard Knocks without showcasing Lauren Tannehill, the old lady of Miami Dolphins starting quarterback Ryan Tannehill.

People were not pleased:

Bro, no emoticons please. 

https://twitter.com/TheReal_Mike_D/status/238097935575957504

That’s great advice. I’m sure the ladies will get right on that. 

https://twitter.com/SeanTwistt/status/238106315879235585

Yeah, that’s exactly what that means. 

https://twitter.com/cchafetz15/status/238093138785349633

Clearly, this kid hasn’t been exposed to many females if he actually typed this. Young fella, let me offer you a quick tutorial through the women of James Bond, since I’m on a huge 007 kick at the moment: 

This is Honor Blackman, who played the rough-around-the-edges Pussy Galore in Goldfinger. I wouldn’t call her a 10 but she doesn’t take a backseat to many from that era. 

Introducing the lovely Agent XXX, played by Barbara Bach in 1974’s The Spy Who Loved Me. 

This is cheating since it’s from the unofficial Bond flick Never Say Never Again in 1983. However, when Kim Basinger played Domino Petachi, Bond’s love interest, it counts all the same. I don’t care if that film was made in a barn in Idaho. 

Halle Berry’s Jinx in Die Another Day works for me. 

You get the point?

When guys are typing “Lauren 10-A-Hill” to find my blog, this concerns me. It’s like guys haven’t been introduced to attractive women before.

My faith in the American male, version 2012, has been shaken.