Sam Bradford vs. Matt Cassel.

This is the second worst quarterback matchup of the season, right?

Is this worst than E.J. Manuel vs. Blake Bortles in London?

Maybe.

Possibly.

Let’s find out.

FIRST QUARTER

8:25 – NBC is about to rundown the Greg Hardy stuff. We agree he is an awful human, right? I get the “everyone deserves a second chance narrative” but in certain situations, they don’t deserve a second chance. This is one of them.

8:30 – Eagles open up with the ball from their 20.

8:32 – Murray nets one yard on first two plays. Josh Huff gets buffaloed after making a catch but short of the first. Three and out for the Eagles.

8:33 – Cowboys get called for running into the punter, which thwarts any momentum for them.

8:35 – The Eagles are trying to beat the Cowboys with guys Dallas let go. Good luck with that. Anyways, I just blinked and the Eagles’ punt team is back on the field again. Great job, O.

8:38 – In need of more spaghetti.

8:40 – Cassel hits Mr. Throw the X on a slant for 51 yards in Dallas territory. Uh oh.

8:42 – Dallas is a yard short of a first down near the PHI 10. Dallas wants to go for it on 4th and 1…I think.

8:44 – After they call a timeout, they go for it…and get it. Philly does not matchup well with Dallas.

8:46 – Disciple of Tom Brady throws to the poor man’s Julian Edelman for a touchdown. TRANSLATION = MATT CASSEL TO COLE BEASLEY. Poor sign for the Eagles.

COWBOYS 7, EAGLES 0

8:52 – Eagles kick off their next drive with a false start. GLORIOUS.

8:54 – Sam Bradford shows up by hitting a 3rd and 18 throw to former Cowboy Miles Austin.

8:57 – Eagles can’t do anything following 3rd and 18 catch by Austin. PUNT.

9:01 – Dallas goes three and out.The big news from this drive is that NBC just used this as the filler music for break:

9:05 – The Eagles do Eagles things and punt. Brutal.

END OF 1: COWBOYS 7, EAGLES 0

SECOND QUARTER

9:15 – Terrance Williams drops a bomb on 3rd and 5. PUNT. Cassel actually doesn’t look half bad tonight.

9:24 – Eagles use effective running from Ryan Mathews to barrel their way into Dallas territory. However, the Eagles’ drive stalls at the DAL 1.

DeMarco Murray converts on a 4th and goal from the 1 to even up the game.

EAGLES 7, COWBOYS 7

9:33 – FYI gets called for a personal foul after the Eagles’ PAT. What a shock! Greg Hardy doing bad things! Who knew!

9:35 – Darren McFadden looks good so far. 15 carries, 79 yards as Dallas arrives into Philly’s side of the field.

9:36 – Williams catches a TD pass from Cassel but is called for a blatant pushoff. Smart move by Williams. That probably would have been intercepted.

9:40 – A Brandon Graham sack knocks Dallas out of field goal range in the waning moments of the first half. Philly gets the ball back with a chance to take the lead but deep on their side of the field.

9:41 – One of the great interviews in Eagles/Cowboys history:

9:45 – By the way, Graham predicted that he would have 32 sacks this season. He needs just 29 more over the next two months.

9:48 – Eagles with the ball near midfield inside of the two-minute warning.

9:53 – Welp, that was anti-climatic. Eagles end up running out the clock after a couple of missteps.

HALFTIME: COWBOYS 7, EAGLES 7

9:56 – Your halftime viewing entertainment since this movie is on TV right now:

THIRD QUARTER

10:10 – Eagles D make a stop on 3rd and inches. However, Brandon Graham really thinks Dallas should get a first down and draws an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for taunting. Peachy keen.

10:13 – Mychal Kendricks sacks Cassel on third down to force a punt.

10:20 – A 40-yard plus completion to DeMarco Murray puts the Eagles in prime position to take the lead…hopefully, maybe, I think.

10:22 – Eagles take advantage of a Morris Claiborne holding penalty. The drive culminates with a Ryan Mathews TD run. WE LIKE A FOOTBALL TEAM.

EAGLES 14, COWBOYS 7

10:28 – The pressure is getting to Matt Cassel and by pressure I mean the Philly pass rush. Brandon Graham comes up with another sack. However, Dallas gets out of a 2nd and 18.

10:36 – Mini Edelman scores again for Dallas to tie it up off a TD pass from little Brady. Matt Cassel and his brutal fu-manchu hug Dez Bryant.

EAGLES 14, COWBOYS 14

10:39 – Eagles get the ball back but their drive is shut down by Nobel Peace Prize recipient Greg Hardy. Wonderful, just wonderful.

10:46 – I can’t believe this game has lasted three quarters without Bradford and Cassel throwing a back-breaking interception. That’s coming in the fourth, right?

END OF THIRD: EAGLES 14, COWBOYS 14

FOURTH QUARTER

10:52 – WELP.

EAGLES 21, COWBOYS 14

10:56 – Long kickoff return by the Cowboys temporarily softens the blow of the pick six by Jordan Hicks. Let’s see if they can capitalize.

10:59 – On a third down, Cassel nearly gets sacked….stays alive…but throws up a prayer in the end zone with multiple Eagles hovering in the area…Dez Bryant comes down with it for six. Whatever dude.

EAGLES 21, COWBOYS 21

11:03 – The loser of this game should hide in a closet for six weeks with the lights turned off.

11:05 – A long catch to Ertz puts the Eagles in Dallas territory again. It’s a seesaw battle, y’all!

11:08 – Dallas is coming down with a sudden rash of injuries amazingly.

11:11 – Eagles can’t convert a 3rd and 5. However, they are able to regain the lead.

EAGLES 24, COWBOYS 21

11:15 – I don’t have a good feeling for the Eagles here…

11:19 – EJ Biggers swats away a pass intended for Mini-Edelman. Cue up Dan Bailey’s music.

EAGLES 24,  COWBOYS 24

11:21 – TAKE IT HOME SAMMY B.

11:22 – Bradford to Jordan Matthews into Dallas turf for a gain of 34.

11:26 – Two-minute warning! Cowboys elect to start using timeouts. 3rd and 8.

11:27 – Caleb Sturgis will now attempt a 53-yard field goal. GULP.

11:28 – He boots it through with ease. Never a doubt…

EAGLES 27, COWBOYS 24

11:32 – Dallas converts a 4th and 5. Drive on.

11:38 – Cowboys use two pass interference calls on Byron Maxwell in coverage against Dez Bryant to move into field goal range. Oh boy.

11:40 – Dan Bailey banks in a game-tying 44-yard field goal off the left upright to tie it up. Some quality pass coverage to bring Bailey closer.

EAGLES 27, COWBOYS 27

11:44 – LET’S DO OVERTIME!

END OF REGULATION: EAGLES 27, COWBOYS 27

OVERTIME

11:47 – Eagles will get the ball first.

11:52 – Chip Kelly has a decision to make. Eagles need a yard on 4th and 1 from DAL 43.

11:53 – Mathews gets the first down but fumbles the ball. Dallas recovers. Too bad he was down. Eagles ball.

11:56 – Bradford to Jordan Matthews for six! BALL GAME. Keep waiting for Tony Romo to come back, Dallas. Maybe you can hustle him back to go 6-10.

FINAL: EAGLES 33, COWBOYS 27

SUMMARY: Gigantic win for the Eagles to stay alive in the NFC L(EAST) race. See what I did there?!