One of the most anticipated games of the 2018 NFL season has arrived. The Los Angeles Rams host (instead of Mexico City) the Kansas City Chiefs in what could be one of the highest scoring games in recent memory.

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL…I REPEAT….MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL..has potentially the game of the year. It’s like the good old days all over again!

FIRST QUARTER: 

8:16: The Rams will receive first….

8:17: Todd Gurley opens up the proceedings with a run but it’s an eye sore because of LAR wearing their atrocious yellow jerseys.

8:23: Kansas City sets the appropriate defensive tone for the night by allowing the Rams roll down the field in three minutes and score on its opening drive via a short Robert Woods TD catch. Thanks for showing up Chiefs D.

RAMS 6, CHIEFS 0

8:33: Penalties mar KC’s first possession including a false start turning in 3rd and 3 into a 3rd and 8. Patrick Mahomes throws an incomplete pass and officially this game is already beneath any Saints game in quality because we have a punt.

8:40: You’re not going to believe this but the Rams are in the red zone again on their second possession. I mean, KC, you gonna show up or nah on defense?

8:45: A laughable effort by the Chiefs D concludes with a 4-yd TD pass to Josh Reynolds. The Chiefs are already on the ropes and we’re just over half done with the first quarter.

RAMS 13, CHIEFS 0

8:54: Not to be outdone, the Rams D gets punished by the Chiefs offense on KC’s next drive. Tyreek Hill shakes loose for two catches including a 25-yard TD catch. In related news, Kareem Hunt is a BEAST.

RAMS 13, CHIEFS 7

9:02: Big Ben, Parliament.

SECOND QUARTER

9:05: The Rams are tumbling downfield again versus the Kansas City D. However, a tipped ball negates a defensive pass interference call against the Chiefs. Hey, guess what though? POINTZ.

RAMS 16, CHIEFS 7

9:13: Tyreek Hill has another 20+ yard plus reception and the Chiefs are set to punch it in again.

9:20: The Rams D stiffens inside of the 5 and force the Chiefs into a field goal, which on a night like this is almost akin to a turnover.

RAMS 16, CHIEFS 10

9:25: Alright, I’ve maligned the Chiefs D a bit too much. Jared Goff is dancing around on a 3rd and 13 deep in his own end…and gets sacked…and fumbles….and Kansas City recovers. YIKES.

9:30: The Chiefs waste little time to score as Mahomes dumps off a screen pass to Hunt who does the Milly Rock into the end zone practically without being touched.

CHIEFS 17, RAMS 16

9:36: See what a little defense in the NFL can do for you?

9:44: Just when we thought the Chiefs were poised to seize control of the game just because their D showed up, the Rams counter. Aaron Donald strip sacks Mahomes and it’s a scoop and score for the Rams. Just like that LA is back in front.

RAMS 23, CHIEFS 17

9:45: In related news, Todd Gurley is killing my fantasy team tonight.

9:51: This game has set back defensive football back to the 1920s. Mahomes goes right down the field. Mahomes has 224 yards and three touchdown passes with the latest coming on a short toss to Chris Conley. However, just like Greg Zeurlein did to open the scoring, Harrison Butker misses the PAT.

RAMS 23, CHIEFS 23

HALFTIME: For some reason, this game isn’t singing to me yet. I need another Tito’s Mule.

THIRD QUARTER

10:12: How much money did the Rams spend on this defense?! Another strip sack for Aaron Donald, who forces Showtime Mahomes to fumble again. Rams ball.

10:21: Despite a long drop by Brandin Cooks, the Rams recover to piece together another touchdown drive with it culminating on a short touchdown run by Jared Goff. On a side note, Todd Gurley only has six carries tonight. WEIRD.

RAMS 30, CHIEFS 23

10:33: Travis Kelce culminates the latest Chiefs drive with a short touchdown catch. He has been a dominant factor tonight…as has every other offensive player on the field with a pulse tonight…except Todd Gurley, for some reason.

RAMS 30, CHIEFS 30

10:43: The Rams have to settle for a dishonorable field goal after a series of receptions and runs by The Ghost of Todd Gurley. Rams regain the lead.

RAMS 33, CHIEFS 30

10:46: Incredibly, the Rams defense, which has been a sieve throughout this game creates their second defensive score of the game. This time, it’s an interception return for six as linebacker Samson Ebukam scores his second defensive score of the game.

RAMS 40, CHIEFS 30

10:54: SHOUTOUT TO PATRIOTS FANS FOR KEEP EVERYTHING IN PERSPECTIVE.

FOURTH QUARTER:

10:55: Mahomes allegedly fumbles again as it’s scooped and returned for a score. However, the refs come to their senses and decide to call it an incomplete pass…but they have to punt.

11:09: The Rams take their foot off the gas and allow a 73-yard touchdown catch to Tyreek Hill. Nah, I’m not trying to win fantasy games this week or anything.

RAMS 40, CHIEFS 37

11:14: Goff and the Rams try to answer, but instead he gets stripped sacked for a fumble and it’s run back for a touchdown. I don’t find this to be a great game. I’m sorry. Bad football.

CHIEFS 44, RAMS 40

11:20: The Rams counter with another Goff TD pass. This time, he goes to tight end Greg Everett for a touchdown.

RAMS 47, CHIEFS 44

11:30: LET’S GIVE YOU A GAME SUMMARY OF WHAT YOU’VE MISSED:

11:38: I’m almost depressed with how little defense is being played in this game. The Chiefs easily go back down the field (if you eliminate that 4th down play they converted on before they crossed midfield), and score, Another Chris Conley TD to make it the highest scoring game in Monday Night Football history.

CHIEFS 51, RAMS 47

11:47: The Rams, in almost silly fashion, roll right down the field and score a touchdown on a long catch by Gerald Everett.

RAMS 54, CHIEFS 51

11:58: The Rams get not one but two interceptions of Patrick Mahomes late to seal the victory….and in my opinion, seal the fate of Mahomes trying to win the MVP. He lost his two highest profile games of the season.

FINAL: RAMS 54, CHIEFS 51

SUMMARY: I love NFL defense. Too bad it didn’t really show up here. I’m in the minority on this but it wasn’t a great football. Lots of scoring doesn’t make a game great. Instead, it’s about a mix of both in my opinion. A silly game. May we not see it in the Super Bowl.