NFL News & Notes

The JMRA NFL P.B.S. Preseason Power Rankings

STNE5207.JPGAs mentioned earlier this week, I have opted to consider the first four weeks of the 2016 NFL season null and void due to Tom Brady’s suspension.

Let’s be honest. The suspension has impacted how players, coaches, and announcers approach the games. Hell, ratings are in a freefall (yes, for real).

So, it’s time to be an irrational blogger and render the efforts of those through the first four weeks of the season null and void.

Minnesota, you’re tremendous 4-0 start? Sorry, your 0-0.

Denver of the NFL’s best defense and defending Super Bowl champions? Nope. 0-0.

How about the Eagles, who are 3-1 behind the solid play of rookie quarterback Carson Wentz? Nope. Back of the line.

I’m deeming everyone 0-0. Thus, this week is the real Week 1. It’s a 12-game season and we’re going to turn back the clock like it’s 1975.

However, with a nod to the meaningless, extra-long preseason, we’re going to provide the first-ever JMRA P.B.S. Power Rankings.

I hate Power Rankings. Yet, I can get behind these.

Oh.

One last thing as a point of clarification, P.B.S. stands for Post Brady Suspension.

RANK TEAM RECORD SUMMARY
1. Denver Broncos 0-0 The champs return a tremendous defense. I have a hunch Trevor Siemian can handle the pressures of the regular season.
2. Minnesota Vikings 0-0 Sam Bradford is the leading man in Minny. The defense is a breadwinner. Should be ready for the regular season.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers 0-0 I don’t think Pittsburgh’s defense is legit. Good thing LeVeon Bell was suspended for the first three games of the preseason. Came back just in time.
4. New England Patriots 0-0 The King is back.
5. Seattle Seahawks 0-0 Russell Wilson’s knee needs to stay in one piece.
6. Philadelphia Eagles 0-0 I’m not quite ready to drink the Carson Wentz Kool-Aid even if EDP drank the whole pitcher already.
7. Green Bay Packers 0-0 Something will go wrong. Just you wait.
8. Atlanta Falcons 0-0 Can you imagine a world where Julio Jones’s 300-yd performance happened in a real NFL game?
9. Dallas Cowboys 0-0 Tony Romo better put his foot on the gas in his rehab efforts.
10. Los Angeles Rams 0-0 It’s too bad I still don’t have the audio of me saying the Rams would win 9 games this year.
11. Houston Texans 0-0 I don’t trust Brock Osweiler…at all…against good teams.
12. Cincinnati Bengals 0-0 When the dust settles, I think they’ll be in the playoffs again.
13 Baltimore Ravens 0-0 I don’t buy them at all.
14. Kansas City Chiefs 0-0 The Chiefs helped drive Sunday Night Football ratings to the depths of hell.
15. New York Giants 0-0 Stop crying Odell.
16. Washington Redskins 0-0 Imagine a world where the Redskins actually liked their quarterback.
17. Carolina Panthers 0-0 Also, I created this fictional NFL world so the Panthers can get their act together.
18. Arizona Cardinals 0-0 Carson Palmer spoke negatively of Tom Brady. Bad move, bro.
19. Buffalo Bills 0-0 Is it time to fire Rex Ryan yet?
20. New York Jets 0-0 You know, maybe it’s better if the Jets just cut to Geno Smith.
21. Tennessee Titans 0-0 Well, at least DeMarco Murray is a name.
22. Detroit Lions 0-0 We know how this movie will end.
23. San Diego Chargers 0-0 Move them to another city already, please.
24. Miami Dolphins 0-0 Ryan Tannehill is the sleeping pill of quarterbacks.
25. San Francisco 49ers 0-0 Their biggest impact player is Colin Kaepernick. This is not a good thing.
26. New Orleans Saints 0-0 Well, at least Drew Brees is good at fantasy football.
27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 0-0 I have (had) such high hopes.
28. San Diego Chargers 0-0 Phil Rivers deserves better than this.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars 0-0 Mike Lombardi ripping Blake Bortles on the Bill Simmons Podcast is always hilarious.
30. Indianapolis Colts 0-0 They should have never turned the Patriots in.
31. Cleveland Browns 0-0 Not even LeBron James can save this mess.
32. Chicago Bears 0-0 The worst.
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