As Super Sunday lurks in just a few days between Atlanta and New England, it is time for the return of the Super Bowl Drinking Game.
Super Bowl LI airs on FOX with Joe Buck and three-time Super Bowl champion Troy Aikman on the call. Erin Andrews and Chris Myers will have sideline duties.
Alas, I proudly present the second annual JMRA Not-So-Official Super Bowl Drinking Game.
- Every touchdown pass.
- A Donald Trump mention.
- Every catch by Falcons receiver Julio Jones
- Every catch by Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman.
- A Deflategate mention.
- A Vic Beasley sack.
- Every time injured New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is shown in a luxury box.
- Every time Buck says Chris Hogan played lacrosse.
- A Falcons completion over 20 yards.
- If highlights are shown from the last Super Bowl in Houston…when the Patriots defeated the Carolina Panthers.
- If Malcolm Butler’s Super Bowl winning interception from Super Bowl XLIX is shown.
- Every time Troy Aikman says “you’re absolutely right Joe.”
- When you hear the word, “inexperienced.”
- Every time LeGarrette Blount scores a touchdown.
- If Lady Gaga plays “Edge of Glory.”
- FOX replay analyst Mike Pereira makes an appearance.
- A promo for the Skip Bayless show “Undisputed” airs.
- A promo for 24 Legacy airs.
- A Joe Montana mention.
- A Terry Bradshaw mention.
- Every time Rutgers is mentioned.
- Every time Boston College is mentioned.
- Roger Goodell appears on camera.
- Every Tom Brady QB sneak.
- A Matt Ryan rushing touchdown.
- A live or taped appearance from John Elway.
- A Tom Brady rushing touchdown.
- Tom Brady wins Super Bowl MVP.
- Matt Ryan wins Super Bowl MVP.
- A Patriots completion over 20 yards.
- A Tevin Coleman touchdown run or catch.
- A Martellus Bennett touchdown catch.
- A Chris Hogan touchdown catch.
- A James White touchdown catch.
- A Dion Lewis rushing or receiving touchdown.
- A Dion Lewis fumble.
- A camera shot of Patriots owner Robert Kraft.
- A camera shot of Falcons owner Arthur Blank.
- Julio Jones leaves the game because of his foot injury.
- If the Patriots score in the first quarter – NOTE: They never scored a first quarter point in the previous six Super Bowl appearances during the Brady/Belichick era.
- Stephen Gostkowski misses a field goal or extra point.
- If Robert Kraft slurs his speech during a postgame celebration talk.
- Every Falcons sack.
- A safety.
- A defensive TD. There has been a defensive TD in every Super Bowl since XLI except for XLII, XLVI, XLIX, which all featured the Patriots, who don’t fall for other team’s parlor tricks in Super Bowls.
- If New England wins the coin toss….and chooses to receive to start the game.
- JJ Watt is at the game.
- The traditional camera shot of Brady hugging and kissing owner Robert Kraft before the game starts.
- Every Patriots sack.
- A Taylor Gabriel touchdown catch.
- If you hear the term, “PSI.”
- If you hear the term “Spygate.”
- Buck mentions the infamous Michael Vick dog scandal.
- A Bobby Petrino mention is made.
- Brady throws a deep pass to special teams ace Matthew Slater, which is a potential panic sign in New England’s offense when they face overpowering defenses.
- A pick-six.
- A special teams TD.
- If Arthur Blank dances after the game.
- If Bill Belichick smiles.
- If Vic Beasley wins Super Bowl MVP.
- If Aldrick Robinson or James Devlin scores a touchdowns.
- If Lady Gaga does anything directly in protest of Donald Trump.
- If Dan Quinn quotes a rap song during his post-game speech (He has done this before).
- If FOX shows the Helmet Catch.
- If FOX makes a “Grits Blitz” reference.
- A post-game interview by FOX with Tom Brady Sr.
- If Buck references Eugene Robinson’s arrest prior to Super Bowl XXXIII.
- If Martellus Bennett dances with the New England Patriots cheerleaders.
- If someone other than Tom Brady wins Super Bowl MVP for New England.
- FOX shows a clip of from the last Super Bowl halftime show in Houston…the infamous Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction halftime show.
- A post-game interview with Michael Vick.
- A post-game interview with MC Hammer.
- A Barstool Sports mention is made.
- Brady punches/slaps Roger Goodell in the face.
- Brady refuses to shake Goodell’s hand.
- If the game comes down to the final play.
- Game goes into overtime.
This is for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
Good luck to you and your liver.
Categories: super bowl, Super Bowl LI
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