Joey Potter is a free woman! I was sitting in a Georgia movie theater watching Madea’s Witness Protection (true story!) when I received the news via text message. It’ll rank right up there with watching Michael Jordan’s final NBA game as an important moment in American history. No, seriously. 

Oh yeah, here is some other useful news.

Attention diehard NFL fans, the 4:15 start times on Sundays will now be 4:25 start times.

A recent poll of women conducted by AshleyMadison.com states that women would gladly cheat on their husbands with Tim Tebow. America: Making Highly Questionable Decisions Since 1776. Anyhow, surely Tebow’s pass at these women would be incomplete…see, what I did there?

The Saints became the last team to ink one of their draft picks, third-rounder Akiem Hicks. The University of Regina product has already suffered a broken hand since being drafted by the Saints.

Bill Belichick celebrated Social Media Day on Saturday…sort of.

It’s growing more likely with each passing day that Terrell Owens will never play in the NFL again…especially when he gets caught doing unsavory things on Skype.

Don’t turn Suri Cruise into a Scientologist.

Someone found a bear in a tree in Vineland, New Jersey…which is about 15 minutes from my house. I’m moving.

NFL attendance continues to trend downhill.

What happens when you mix Redskins tight end Fred Davis, a pimp, and a pitcher of juice? That’s right, a lawsuit.

Chad Ochocinco proposed to his girlfriend while playing Call of Duty. Pretty sure most guys can’t pull this off without getting smacked.