Hello good citizens!
It’s been a minute since I’ve been able toss in my two cents on the NFL. However, I’m a part of a team that writes a fantasy football magazine. We’ll revisit that at a later date but I digress…
Pope Francis revealed to the press recently that he hasn’t watched television in a long, long time.
How long?
How about July 15, 1990!
That’s right, his excellency hasn’t dabbled in television in 25 years. Not only is that remarkable, it’s a tremendous testament to his willpower.
Of course, that’s why he is pope. He’s just better than the rest of us.
Yet, there is a downside to all of this. He has missed a tremendous 25-year span of NFL action. If the football lords came down to me and said, “hey, we’re going to erase your NFL memory and in return, you can become pope,” I don’t know how I’d react to that.
Let’s take a look at 100 things noteworthy NFL things Pope Francis missed.
1. John Madden and Pat Summerall announcing games on CBS.
2. The 1991 Washington Redskins.
3. The 1991 Atlanta Falcons.
4. Leonard Marshall nearly murdering Joe Montana on national television.
5. Three straight years of postseason meltdowns from the 1991-93 Houston Oilers including blowing a 32-point second half lead to the Buffalo Bills in the ’92 AFC playoffs.
6. Leon Lett gets stripped by Don Beebe in the Super Bowl.
7. Thanksgivings with Leon Lett.
8. Barry Switzer somehow coaching the Dallas Cowboys to a Super Bowl victory.
9. Barry Sanders rushing for over 2,000 yards in 1997.
10. Randall Cunningham’s magic act in Buffalo.
11. Terrell Owens.
12. Brett Favre doing Brett Favre things.
13. The Greatest Show on Turf.
14. The Cleveland Browns version of Bill Belichick.
15. John Elway vs. Joe Montana on Monday Night Football.
16. This guy getting hired as commissioner…
17. The 1990-93 Buffalo Bills.
18. Wide right.
19. The 1992-93 Dallas Cowboys.
20. The Triplets – Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin.
21. The greatest pregame entrance in football history:
22. Pick #199 of the 2000 NFL Draft:
23. Buddy Ryan punching Kevin Gilbride during a nationally televised game.
24. The 1991 Philadelphia Eagles defense.
25. Discount Double Check.
26. Manning vs. Brady…16 times.
27. Manning vs. Manning
28. John Elway going out on top.
29. The Bodybag Game:
30. The Music City Miracle
31. The Helmet Catch.
32. Madden Football commercials.
33. Ray Rice & the elevator…
34. 4th and 26.
36. The 2000 Ravens Defense.
37. Tony Romo fumbling his way out of a playoff win in Seattle.
38. Bill Parcells
39. Hooded villain deluxe, Bill Belichick.
40. NFL Zubaz pants.
41. Brett Favre throwing away a shot at the Super Bowl in the 2009 NFC title game…and Paul Allen’s call.
42. Speaking of Paul Allen, his call of the 2003 Minnesota Vikings getting bounced from the playoff race thanks to the Arizona Cardinals on final Sunday of the regular season.
43. Arguably, the greatest regular season game of all-time…Cowboys vs. Giants for the NFC East and home-field advantage in the NFC playoffs.
44. The NFL Lockout.
45. Gary Anderson keeping the 1998 Minnesota Vikings out of the Super Bowl.
46. Deflategate.
47. Stan Humphries to Tony Martin in the 1994 AFC title game.
48. Joe Montana to Jerry Rice.
49. Steve Young to Jerry Rice.
50. Steve Bono to Jerry Rice.
51. Jeff Garcia to Jerry Rice.
52. Kurt Warner almost winning a Super Bowl for the Arizona Cardinals.
53. Adam Vinatieri becoming the greatest big-game kicker ever.
54. The Tuck Rule.
55. Janet Jackson & Justin Timberlake playing strip poker during the Super Bowl halftime show.
56. 2006 LaDainian Tomlinson.
57. 2007 AFC Title Game LaDainian Tomlinson, complete with visor and jacket:
58. Peyton Manning throwing touchdown after touchdown after touchdown after touchdown.
59. Peyton Manning losing playoff game after playoff game after playoff game at home.
60. The Wes Welker Super Bowl XLVI Drop.
61. The Legion of Boom.
62. Marshawn Lynch going beast-mode on the Saints.
63. Super Bowl Media Day Marshawn Lynch
64. Richard Sherman & Erin Andrews.
65. Rob Gronkowski.
66. Bill Belichick handshakes…or lack thereof.
68. NFL PrimeTime
69. The Dan Marino Fake Spike
70. The NFL on TNT
71. Joe Montana vs. Steve Young in Arrowhead Stadium.
72. That time Deion Sanders called out Jay Cutler on Twitter after the 2010 NFC title game.
74. “He did what??!?!”
75. The House of Pain Game.
76. The infamous 4th and inches game between the Eagles and Cowboys.
77. Eric Allen’s 1994 interception return for a TD vs. Jets
78. The Butt Fumble:
79. Curtis Painter, arguably the worst backup quarterback of a generation.
80. Terrell Owens returning to Philadelphia in 2006.
81. Big games at RFK Stadium.
82. Pete Carroll caught by cameras giving a choke sign.
83. Odell Beckham Jr. vs. Dallas
84. Billy Cundiff missing a game-tying kick in the 2011 AFC title game.
85. Moments earlier, Lee Evans dropping a go-ahead touchdown.
86. Green Bay gagging away the 2014 NFC title game to Seattle.
87. Michael Vick
88. Rush Limbaugh…
89. Peyton Manning’s comeback in the 2006 AFC title game.
90. Peyton Manning’s performance in the 2009 AFC title game.
91. Adrian Peterson.
93. Dick Vermeil
94. St. Louis Ram Kurt Warner
95. Marshall Faulk
96. The 49ers/Cowboys rivalry in the 90s.
97. Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh
98. The James Harrison Interception in Super Bowl XLIII
99. Larry Fitzgerald’s 2008 playoff run.
100. And last but not least….
You’ve missed plenty in the last 25 years, good sir.
Consider this a cheat sheet.
Categories: Random Nonsense
Joe Montana's Right Arm 