I, a longtime Philadelphia Eagles fan, am also an immense supporter and advocate of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and their plight with the New England Football Patriots.

Today, I bring you a voyage through time and space. Read on as I root for both teams to come out of this game at peak optimal health levels.

Meanwhile, if this expedited the departure of Chip Kelly as Eagles coach, I’m totally cool with that too.

Party time. 

4:19 – THIS BUFFOON IS IN FOXBOROUGH. WARNING…NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

Dude, don’t verbally beat down the Eagles, threaten to kill people, and then hop on a plane from LA to Boston. He’s not a fraud fan but not exactly the face of the fandom.

4:22 – Why does FOX do this repeatedly? If I’m in a local market and my game is coming on next, I want to see THAT game. I don’t want to be held up by Niners/Bears or some other nothing game.

FIRST QUARTER

4:26 – Eagles open with the ball first. Pats defer to second half. Sammy B is in.

4:28 – Eagles look like they are going to ride Darren Sproles today a lot.

4:31 – Eagles self-destruct near midfield after a pair of penalties including a hold on a 3rd and 4.

4:34 – Brady and friends take the field for the first time today. They open up with a pair of Blount runs.

4:37 – New England’s passing attack is a hot mess to start. A sack and another hurry forces New England to punt.

4:38 – Another day and another critical Patriots injury. Special teams ace and wide receiver Matthew Slater is down.

4:38 – I love how “Angry Tom Brady” is a constant league storyline as if he is a professional wrestler.

4:40 – The Eagles are just running wide and throwing to the hashes. That appears to be the game plan.

4:45 – Interesting camera shot to start the drive of Belichick addressing official Sarah Thomas in regards to holding.

4:51 – New England’s next possession and they still can’t block the Eagles. Oh boy. Brady gets sacked to close out another drive.

4:53 – Sam Bradford and the Eagles go three and out. If there was a draft held involving all of the receivers in this game, who is top overall pick?

5:01 – Sorry, my Dad called to yell at me about how lousy Tom Brady is as a quarterback to get a rise out of me. It worked as usual.

5:02 – Anyhow, as the first quarter heads to a close, Brady hits Scott Chandler on a throw inside of the Philly 15 to setup a goal to go to setup a potential scoring situation for the Patriots.

END OF 1: EAGLES 0, PATRIOTS 0. 

SECOND QUARTER

5:04 – Brady to James White gives New England their first score of the day. It’s not easy for the Patriots today but they have a lead.

PATRIOTS 7, EAGLES 0 

5:05 – Now, a quick word from our sponsors.

5:07 – Tom Brady should have cut that press conference after the second Super Bowl loss to the Giants.

5:10 – Eagles wide receiver Nelson Agoholor. Bum.

5:11 – Speaking of bums, the Eagles offensive line has been called for something like 100 penalties so far. Another punt for the Eagles.

5:13 – Uh oh. Somebody is watching their husband play football…

In case you’re confused about who that is….it’s this woman:

5:18 – Brady survives an awful drive by Blount (five-yard loss to open the drive, runs wrong way) to force a 42-yard PI penalty out of the Eagles. Another Patriots scoring drive is afoot.

5:20 – Brady to Amendola for six on a beautiful catch and throw by the Patriots.

PATRIOTS 14, EAGLES 0

5:23 – For some reason, the Patriots try a dropkick that is recovered at the Philly 40. Don’t get that one.

5:28 – Eagles capitalize on a TD toss from Bradford to Ertz. With under five minutes left in the first half, we have a game (I think).

PATRIOTS 14, EAGLES 7

5:31 – Bradford constantly looks like a guy that doesn’t necessarily want to play football. Perhaps he would rather be watching it.

5:35 – Patriots punt after a lackluster possession deep in their own and give the Eagles good starting position again.

5:41 – The Birds can’t do anything with their good fortune and opt to punt in New England territory.

5:47 – The Eagles block a Ryan Allen punt and scoop and score to tie the game with just eight seconds left before halftime. Well then….

PATRIOTS 14, EAGLES 14

5:49 – New England’s normally reliable special teams have been rough over the last four quarters of football.

5:53 – Bill Belichick accurately sums up the first half for the Patriots…

HALFTIME: PATRIOTS 14, EAGLES 14

THIRD QUARTER

6:05 – Patriots open up the third quarter with the football…

6:13 – New England’s drive stalls near their 40. An Eagles possession goes three and out deep in their own end.

6:14 – Patriots take over in Philly territory after a bad punt by Donnie Jones.

6:19 – The Patriots see Danny Amendola drops a sure TD pass…and the Patriots pay dearly.

6:21 – Brady tries to jam a pass into the end zone. Malcolm Jenkins returns an interception 100 yards out and the Eagles take their first lead of the day.

EAGLES 21, PATRIOTS 14

6:25 – Here is the aforementioned Amendola drop. Just terrible.

6:31 – Another fruitless Patriots drive leads to another Eagles score….This time it’s Darren Sproles returning a punt for a touchdown. New England’s special teams is in freefall mode.

EAGLES 28, PATRIOTS 14

6:35 – Dude, I think the Patriots are going to lose this game.

6:38 – The Patriots get desperate and complete a 30-yard pass on a trick play to Tom Brady…who then gets intercepted by Byron Maxwell. Oof. One of those days for the Patriots.

6:40 – Not looking good for the Patriots…

END OF THIRD: EAGLES 28, PATRIOTS 14

FOURTH QUARTER

6:49 – Patriots take a brutal third down DPI on Malcolm Butler. The wheels are just about set to fall off the Patriots in this one as the Eagles close in on another score.

6:51 – The Eagles score again on a Bradford to Matthews throw and the Patriots fan head to the exits.

EAGLES 35, PATRIOTS 14

6:59 – This is surprising but not THAT surprising. Patriots have lost their top two receivers and bunch of linemen and a key defender. The system is not impenetrable.

7:09 – Brady to Scott Chandler TD as they finally get back into the end zone.

EAGLES 35, PATRIOTS 21

7:12 – Patriots recover the onside kick with five minutes left. Here we go…oh lord.

7:18 – On a fourth down, Brady lobs one to James White for a critical first down near the Philly 20.

7:19 – Brady sneaks it in from the 1 and all of a sudden, it’s a one-score game.

EAGLES 35, PATRIOTS 28

7:23 – New England can’t recover another onside kick as their special teams woes continue.

7:26 – Riley Cooper may have won MVP of the game (sort of) by batting an onside kick out of bounds and then coming up with perhaps a game-ending reception on 3rd and 10.

7:34 – A Keyon Barner fumble on third down gave Brady and the Patriots another chance. However, a collection of dropped passes doom the Patriots including one by Keshawn Martin on fourth down. Although, holding penalty would have nullified a first down reception.

7:37 – YES VIRGINIA. The Eagles won.

FINAL: EAGLES 35, PATRIOTS 28

SUMMARY: A collection of insane decisions and special teams mistakes cost the Patriots dearly. The Eagles are a lot of things…a team bereft of talent is not one of them. The one thing Philly does extremely well under Chip Kelly is collect a series of nonsense TDs on defense and special teams. They collected three defensive/special teams TDs today. That helped a TON. As for the Patriots, this is a rough loss. They lose at home and now drop to the three-seed in the AFC.

If there is one team in the NFL that needs a playoff bye in the opening round, it’s them. Now, they may very well not get it.