These are sad times for Dallas sports fans. Last Thursday night, the Rangers were a strike away from winning the World Series (twice). Less than 24 hours later, they were sobbing tears of regret as the Cardinals became baseball’s best. Now, Dallas turns its lonely eyes to Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys as they visit the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday Night Football!
8:31 – Father-to-be Tony Romo raps with Michele Tafoya pre-kickoff but he’ll have to watch Vick because the Eagles will get the ball first.
8:32 – Vick hits Jeremy Maclin (Philly’s best receiver…yeah, I said it) for a first down. When is Maclin going to have the “I need more money” discussion with the Eagles. Jackson isn’t even contributing huge plays downfield and Maclin has been better game to game this year.
8:36 – A Dallas penalty and Vick run leads to a red zone opportunity.
8:38 – Vick hits PBR for a 12-yard scoring strike. The woes of Texas continue. Eagles basically did whatever they wanted to on that drive.
EAGLES 7, COWBOYS 0
8:40 – Since Dallas allowed the Eagles to do the Cupid Shuffle down the field, here you go…
8:43 – Alex Henery keeps this up and he’ll be on high alert soon. The Eagles rookie kicker boots the kickoff out of bounds and Dallas will begin their drive from their own 45 with a penalty tacked on to it.
8:47 – Pocket crasher Trent Cole is back tonight for the Eagles. Fellow crasher Jason Babin celebrates by sacking Romo on a first down play in Eagles territory.
8:48 – Feeling left out, Trevor Laws sacks Romo. Wide 9 technique 2, Cowboys 0.
8:52 – Ah yes, what would an Andy Reid game be without burning a timeout in the first quarter? We’re going to miss this one day…ok, maybe not.
8:58 – LeSean McCoy tap dances around the Dallas defensive front for a first down. In my opinion, McCoy is the second best back in football (AP)…oh, there he goes for 34 yards inside of the Dallas 5.
8:59 – McCoy dives in from two yards away. Thus far, Rob Ryan’s mouth is agape.
EAGLES 14, COWBOYS 0
9:05 – Romo gets picked on a deflection by Nnamdi Asomugha. Bad things seem to happen when the ball is thrown in the direction of Martellus Bennett.
9:08 – Can Michael Vick stop running head first? Anyhow, he gets the first down to end a grisly first quarter for the Cowboys.
END OF 1ST: EAGLES 14, COWBOYS 0
9:13 – Eagles start out the quarter on the move. Meanwhile, we have to file a missing persons report for Dez Bryant and Miles Austin.
9:15 – Vick to Celek for another TD. This one is in grave danger already. Through the first six games, the Eagles were a hot mess but they’ve been able to move the football during the season.
EAGLES 21, COWBOYS 0
9:20 – Boy, who didn’t see this tweet coming from someone…
9:24 – Remember when Dez Bryant and Miles Austin played in the NFL?
9:27 – Challenge ensues over a Laurent Robinson catch, which Philadelphia wins. Punt time for the Cowboys and Jerry Jones doesn’t look amused.
9:33 – I could watch McCoy run all day and apparently, the Cowboys seem ok with letting that happen. Vick, McCoy, and the ghost of Brent Celek are pounding the Cowboys, who have no answers for the Philly offense.
9:43 – Bizarro red zone calls by the Eagles give Dallas a minor reprieve as they settle for a field goal. Henery boots through a short field goal to continue the Dallas misery.
EAGLES 24, COWBOYS 0
9:44 – This makes Ron Washington sad…
9:45 – Dallas looks dreadful. One thing we’ve learned this week, playing bad teams obviously gives you a false sense of security. Just ask the Saints and Cowboys, who murdered the Colts and Rams respectively last week.
9:53 – The only negative for Philadelphia in the first half is an injury to Jeremy Maclin, who got hurt on the final play of the half. Otherwise, an absolute waste of time for the Cowboys in the first half. They didn’t accomplish much in the half.
HALFTIME: EAGLES 24, COWBOYS 0
9:55 – By the way, the late Jim Johnson, and Eric Allen will be honored at the half as the two newest inductees of the Eagles Honor Roll. When you think of Allen, you think of this:
10:09 – Hey look, it’s Miles Austin everybody and a Dallas first down.
10:10 – As Al Michaels pointed out, you probably have no idea what a three technique means. Here is a nuts and bolts explanation.
10:11 – Tony Romo looks like a man with very little confidence on the field. He looks disillusioned. Cowboys punt it back to the Eagles after an unsuccessful opening drive to start the third quarter.
10:13 – Maclin is back and makes a first down catch. In other news, Dwight Gooden is impressed with Michael Vick.
10:19 – This game reminds me of awful flag football games I’ve participated in where my team had no idea how to slow the opponent. That’s what this game looks like. Goal to go for the Eagles after a first down reception by McCoy.
10:24 – The officials are claiming a pass that Michael Vick threw two yards forward is actually a backward pass. Oh dear god. Not even close. Reid breaks the record for quickest challenge ever. Awful call.
10:25 – Gene Steratore eats crow and says Philly wins the challenge. I can’t even imagine why someone thought that was a backward pass.
10:27 – Eagles drive stalls and it’s time for a field goal, which Henery easily knocks through from 26 yards out.
EAGLES 27, COWBOYS 0
10:37 – Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth did Halloween shots as Troy Polamalu to set the stage for next week’s Baltimore/Pittsburgh bloodbath. Of course, they try to play it off as if those pics were not supposed to get out. Don’t worry gentlemen, I’ll try to post them three or four times before next Sunday night.
10:40 – Meanwhile, the Eagles make yet another venture into Dallas territory…
10:44 – When NBC is diving into stories about Howard Mudd and showing Polamalu costumes, you know this game is in grave danger of being interesting.
END OF 3RD: EAGLES 27, COWBOYS 0
10:48 – McCoy drives the last spike through the heart of the Cowboys with a 13-yard TD run. He has 155 yards on the night and just forced Al Michaels to make a Real McCoy reference.
EAGLES 34, COWBOYS 0
10:52 – Sorry.
10:55 – Wait a minute. A Dallas touchdown! Laurent Robinson from 70 yards away. They do have a pulse. Extremely faint but one nonetheless.
EAGLES 34, COWBOYS 7
11:00 – This game still has 12 minutes left.
11:03 – DeMarcus Ware has four sacks tonight? This will go down as the least important four sack game in NFL history.
11:06 – Sunday Night Football fun fact: the road team has been outscored 101-17 in the last two games. That number is about to get worse.
11:14 – Romo and the Cowboys get inside of the Philly 10 but Jason Babin collects his second sack of the night to end the drive.
11:16 – The keys to stopping the Eagles include limiting the big plays, slowing McCoy, and winning in the red zone. Obviously, Dallas only solved the big play part.
11:19 – No reason for McCoy to still be in this game. Classic stat padding.
11:29 – Dallas gets a few empty calorie yards and that’s it. Mercifully, it’s over.
FINAL: EAGLES 34, DALLAS 7
11:30 – That caps arguably the worst 72-hour span of Dallas sports ever. Cheers.
SYNOPSIS: Well, this was a huge game in the NFC East for the Eagles. If they went to 2-5, they were toast in the NFC wild card race. Still, 3-4 isn’t exactly beating down the door to get into the playoffs but you’re going to need probably 10 wins to be in the wild card discussion.
Detroit, Chicago, and whomever falls out of the NFC South race is going to be Philadelphia’s competition if they don’t catch the Giants. While they don’t face Detroit, they lost to Atlanta already and play the Bears next week.
Their best bet for the playoffs is through the NFC East. Dallas is up and down; Washington stinks; and the Giants play everyone except the ’89 49ers and ’76 Raiders during the second half of the season.
Philadelphia has a ton of work to do to get back into solid positioning in the NFC but tonight was a good start.
Meanwhile, Dallas has to fix Romo. He doesn’t look right to me. Not sure if it’s the rib injury but he is either hounded by the rib injury (he wore a kevlar vest again tonight) or suffering from a lack of confidence.
Regardless, if he doesn’t snap out of this funk, Dallas is dead.
Goodnight kids. Remember, you control your own destiny…unless David Freese has something to do with it.